I am No One

I had an awkward conversation this morning, which I admit is not an altogether unusual event for me, but this was more so than even I am accustomed to.

I was at Mass with my wife’s grandmother, aunt, and the aunt’s son and his two young children. In conversation before Mass I was trying to figure out who I was to each of these people, suggesting things like brother-in-law or son-in-law once removed or second cousin in law and the like, but the aunt settled it by saying, “The truth is you are no one to us.”

Early in Mass the son (My wife’s first cousin), had to leave the Liturgy with his toddler, who I think is about two years old and is fond of Elsa and Doritos.

This left my wife’s aunt with a young baby, the kind who has no teeth and cannot yet hold his head up .

The baby started acting up and I could tell the aunt was tired so I offered to take the baby. He eventually settled down and was easy to hold for the remainder of the liturgy.

Shortly after Mass, a matronly woman approached me making all of the noises that such women make when they see a cute baby and asked me how old the baby was. I told her I had no idea and then, after a moment of looking at the baby I said, “Maybe two or three months? What do you think?”

She was very puzzled … Read the rest

Why Do Men Allow Women To Dominate Them?

I’m in this FB group for Catholic men, and a new member asked why there were women in a group for Catholic men. I had not noticed this before, but I asked myself the same thing.

Within moments the new guy got attacked and ridiculed for asking the question, and women warned other men not to dare think in that same way and it was implied that if they spoke up along these lines there was something wrong with them, perhaps something dark and even cowardly.

Soon all sorts of men (mostly millennials, in all fairness), were also rushing to condemn men who think that men’s groups should be for men, and begging the offended women to stay, and declaring their love and fondness for all women, regardless of how they behave in a men’s group.

The admin/moderator of the page remained silent.

So much of what I believe about the problems with the family, the Church and modern society have just been definitively confirmed.

There are some interesting demonstrations of this point in my FB post:

Read the rest

A Man’s Musings About Dating and Courtship

Posting by an Anonymous Friend

Courting/manosphere lessons so far this year (meeting one woman a month; low-grade, short-term successes but people aren’t meant for this revolving door):

1. If the girl goes cold, cut contact immediately. No matter how attached she was before (four-hour video calls in which she even talks about marriage). Literally no questions asked. Don’t ask/whine/plead, “What’s wrooooooong? Whyyyyyyy? We can work this oooout.” That’s weakness, which God made women hate; their survival instinct now gone wrong. A bit of socialization from mainstream culture I had to unlearn. By the third one this year I got it. Don’t even give her the chance to deliver the friends speech (got that once) or any other breakup cliché. And by “no contact” you’re not even thinking of trying to get her back, although it gives you a sliver of a chance. (Two have come back to me.) It’s for your own dignity and peace of mind. Don’t be needy.

2. Obvious: the friends speech IS for losers. I actually prefer “no” or even being ghosted. If you hear/read it, leave quietly without saying anything. It doesn’t deserve an answer. No more contact. Anyway, Mike Pence is right; wise. A Catholic turned evangelical smarter than most practicing Catholics. For me, it’s 1960 (no surprise): no to opposite-sex friendships. There are beautiful married acquaintances I’d informally call friends; I’d never be alone with them. There are associates’ wives and girlfriends with whom I am cordial. They are not friends. I don’t … Read the rest

Feminists and the Weak Men Who Empower Them

Christopher DeGroot has written a wildly unpopular but wholly truthful and important essay about men and women and the urgency of the problem created in western culture by feminists and the weak men who empower them. An excerpt:

“In this essay I shall argue that masculine reassertion is necessary for authority’s sake and for keeping the US competitive at the international level and the culture stable (“the principle of order”). For in time, there is little social order without sufficient male authority, and excellence, too, declines insofar as resentful manipulation and hysteria—the latter historically a distinctly female phenomenon—triumph over sober judgment and rationality. Needless to say, in an inherently competitive world, such a situation is not desirable. What could be better for the Chinese, our chief and quite ruthless competitor, than our corporations and universities forever enabling meritocracy to give way to gender-based hiring quotas, that unjust feminist imperative?

Like the ancient Greeks, the ancient Chinese associated order with men and chaos with women. Certainly no informed person, knowledgeable about the history of human institutions, could believe that safe spaces, microaggressions, bias response teams and the like ever would have arisen in any male-only or male-dominated context. As feminists rightly give us to understand, the characteristic vices of men—violence, harshness, insensitivity—are on the other side of the psychological spectrum. Lee Jussim and other social psychologists have shown that “gender stereotypes are mostly accurate,” and that “Stereotype accuracy is one of the largest and most replicable effects in all of … Read the rest

The Courageous, True Story of a Little Girl, Her Daddy and a Bad Priest

So… What should Mom and Dad have done differently? I will weigh in later so my ideas don’t poison the well.

It was 1963 and I had just turned twelve.

I’d gotten my period a year before and was developing faster than most girls in my class. Where they were still short, rosy-cheeked, and flat-chested, I was six inches taller, growing into a B-cup, and getting acne. It was an awkward, confusing time for me.

Sadly, my mother was pre-occupied with her newest baby and my other eight siblings. Dad was mostly at work trying to make enough money to keep us all in parochial schools. I often felt alone and—like most kids that age–unable to share my feelings with my parents. Thank God for Celestine, our full-time housekeeper who was a sweet, second mother to me. She’d watched us kids outside playing and heard some of the neighborhood kids making comments. She promptly dragged me down to the five-and-dime to buy me my first bra.

“We don’t need those nasty boys looking down your blouse,” I remember her saying.

I know she was trying to protect me, but somehow, I got the message that there was something shameful about me in the word nasty and the fact that I had breasts.

Nonetheless, I knew I was “becoming a woman” and it was (for vague reasons) something special that should be celebrated, and something precious that should be safeguarded. I just wished I’d had an older sister or someone to

Read the rest